Human of the Year
by Regina Spektor

“Hello
Hello
Calling a Carl Prejektorinski to the front of the catherdral.
You have won, dear sir
may i congratulate you first?
Oh what an honor.
Human, human of the year, you are.
Human, human of the year, you are.

Why are you so scared?
You stand there shaking in the pew.
The icons are whispering to you,
they’re just old men,
like on the benches in the park,
except their balding spots are glistening with gold.
Human, human of the year, you are.
Human, human of the year, you are.

Ahh ah ah.
You have won.

Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.
Hallelujah.

Outside the cars are beeping out a song just in your honor.
And although they do not know it,
all mankind are now your brothers.
And thus the cathedral had spoken, wishing well to all the sinners.
And with a sigh grew silent.
Until next year’s big human winner.
Outside the cars are beeping out a song just in your honor.
And although they do not know it all mankind are now your brothers.
All mankind are now your brothers.